Thank you so much, John Oliver.
there’s no law against you tossing spaghetti on the sidewalks. cops cant stop me. not this time
I once had a drunk guy tell me I was too sexy to be shooting up at a party. He knocked the needle out of my hands and stepped on the pen, shattering the casing, telling me I should thank him by giving him my number and a kiss. It was my diabetes medicine.
(submitted by anonymous)
tis the season